My Daughters

Fuff and Goog
Julianna and Stephanie

Oh daughter of my soul
And child of my heart
You’ve come to me by grace
and mercy has sheltered you
Your love enfolds my weaknesses
Your laughter erases my pain
Your shining hearts melt
even the hardest of cynics
Oh daughter of my soul
And child of my heart
Be true to the one who gave you life
Don’t depart from the music of your hearts
Don’t allow the darkness in
Shield grace for she will always keep you
Allow wisdom to be your adornment
Be at peace with all you encounter
And trust in God alone
Oh daughter of my soul
And child of my heart
God has given you to me
I give you back into His care
And trust in all you are to be
I love you….
Daughter of my soul

And child of my heart….
Julianna and Stephanie

I wrote this poem many years ago, when the girls were six and nine. We were living in an utter shitheap of a house in the backblocks of Cambridge, next to a woman who had more animals than Noah’s Ark!
I was inspired by what my daughters taught me then, and what they still teach me, today.
Often, I go on about Sammy, and there are distinct reasons for that, but in my deepest heart, these girls are my crowning jewels.
Steph made me a mummy, and now Juju is making me a safta (nana).
What I am most proud of, is that these beautiful young women have become my dearest friends.
I love them so dearly, and will continue to be their greatest cheerleader.

Threads

Back of a Tapestry.

I have so many threads running through my mind – which one do I pull upon?

So many dreams that hurtle to the ground at a resounding force of violence and ferocity. How do I proceed?

A heart pounding, beating for the ONE and yet so entrenched in the myre and clay that surrounds me. Of whom do I seek? Flesh and bone; spirit and life?

Insults, injuries, sickness devours my mortal soul. Wounds gaping and screaming to be heard, but nonetheless no voice to voice the pain or roar as the lioness I am.

Demons come and choke at my throat causing my breath to skip a beat, and words to be gurgled in the darkness. Breathing becomes shallow as rasps shudder my body and heave from my exhausted mouth.

I see you. You accusing spirit, I hear your words, but will not allow them to take hold. I blame no one. Words are spoken, opinions given, but it is not my desire to take offense – you cannot make me, accuser, even though they tantalize generously.

I rest. I pray. I give my burdens up and onto the Hands of Grace. I sleep.

Fitting dreams of lands I do not know. But we are there. Helping those in need, offering solace and practicalities to those pilgrims running for their lives. I see a great city fall. A nation besieged. A terror group overtakes another nation and causes great war.

My dreams exhaust me…

Opinions, opinions, opinions everywhere. Clawing at me, beseeching me to listen to yet another great fear wrapped up in another person’s lie. I shall not succumb. Truth is weighed up against the collective opinion, and is left wanting. I need only THE truth.

We pit one against another. We no longer walk in love and grace. Us against them. Me against you. The world has gone mad. Good is now evil, evil reigns supreme in the hearts and minds in the citizens of this world.

Wonder – where have you gone? Wonder of all that is good, beautiful, true and lovely. I hear the distant sound of Louis singing about this ‘wonderful world’ but somehow it seems a bittersweet memory?

The threads are interwoven, they speak all so loudly, clamouring for my attention immediately. But I will not give over to the balls of messy threads, the odd lengths, the knots and ties, the unevenness of the mat, nor the colours bleeding into one.

I choose to look instead, at the Tapestry being woven throughout this life, and marvel at the beauty that comes from pain, devastation, love and truth.

The marvel that is Yeshua living in and through me.

Galatians 2:20 TLV. “And it is no longer I who live, but Messiah lives in me. And the life I now live in the body, I live by trusting in Ben-Elohimโ€”who loved me and gave Himself up for me.”