A Letter to our Prime Minister…

Our new normal….

Ms Ardern

I lay awake in the predawn hours of this morning with tears rolling down my cheeks. I am so deeply grieved, it is something that never leaves me now. I seem to weep openly most days, and long for a time when this present situation wasn’t with us.

This so called ‘pandemic’ that we are in, has bought many new things to light. One of those is your blatant disrespect and lack of appreciation for the New Zealand way of life. Oh don’t get me wrong, you gesticulate so well, you lean into the camera, you tilt your head and give all the appearances of ‘listening’ but we all know, when that microphone gets switched off and you leave the podium, that’s when your ‘kindness’ and ‘goodwill’ end.

I think you have underestimated us, the normal, Kiwi born tribe that have been inhabiting this land for generations. The land where openness, honesty and integrity were things we celebrated, a handshake was all that was needed, and neighbours genuinely looked out for one another.

You have underestimated us and overreached your authority, your office and your power. You have the audacity to put us into lockdowns, bring in the Police unchecked, bring in the Military, change the Bill of Rights, the Health Act, and then introduce new legislation and laws, all the while essentially placing us under house arrest. You admonished us to ring an 0800 number to dob in people who were flouting the rules! And you know what, 93% of the population according to Stuff News, were ok with doing this, giving you this right and giving up their rights – all for the ‘greater good’.

Well, I am part of the so-called 7% who are NOT ok with this. I do not believe the statistics are anywhere near correct, and I do NOT believe a word you are saying. You are the ‘young modern woman’, I dare say when I fell pregnant out of wedlock, I was scorned and preyed upon – but hey, you are the new face of the New World aren’t you? You preen and pivot, have photo opportunities all over the place, grace magazine covers, speak at the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, all the while knowing that you are the ‘plant’ that was seeded decades ago, to finish the job that your mentor, Helen Clarke, started.

You have successfully duped the older generation, who simply fall down and worship at the throne of your ‘kindness.’ They don’t care what is happening to us as a society, simply because you pay their Superannuation, give them Goldcards, discounts and freebies. They don’t have to worry where their next dollar is coming from, because you Dear Ms Ardern, have the Elderly all sorted. And, if they play up, you have great measures in place, to drug them, admit them into an Elderly Care Unit, and leave them to die. Yes, Ms Ardern, you have done so well, building on the past governments and turning living breathing individuals into tombs, now pushing up daisies.

You are not for the people, you are essentially our Overlord, and we are your minions. You are supposed to be doing the will of the people and representing us as a fair, honest, and decent nation. You are simply a puppet that the NWO pulls the strings, and you dance openly and with demonic glee, to their morbid Socialistic Communist tune.

I am the mother of two grieving daughters – who lost their Grandmother very suddenly in this second lockdown, and who couldn’t be with their grief ridden father or relatives. Your lockdown separated two sons from their deceased mother and would not allow them the God given right to a funeral, a memorial or anything humane.

You met us at the borders with Military and Police, and if we couldn’t satisfy your taste for the new rules of the land, we were turned back in our hundred’s, to our prison/homes. Your incessant use of ‘team of five million’ sounded pithy and ridiculous then, and even worse now.

It is not lost on many many of us, the similarities between pre-war Germany, and what we see happening here in New Zealand. Your intent to break our spirit, break our will, introduce masks into the NZ pysche and turn us into snitches, pales in comparison to the ‘bigger picture’. I cannot go into the depth of knowledge I have gained on you, your rise through Freemasonry scholarships, and the devious things you have done over in the UK in your tenure there. But I will say, I will not stay silent for another second.

And before I leave, can I ask you what the hell you are doing towards eradicating poverty amongst the children, the disenfranchised, the needy and the helpless? You apparently have $50 billion dollars for the Covid19 Response Fund, but where are the funds to clothe, feed, supply the correct stationery, give meals during school and provide uniforms for our thousands of starving children? What about them Ms Ardern? As a Mum, you should be mortified that ANY child in this nation is going to school hungry, cold or without adequate shoes or raingear. Why so much money for 22 deaths, and luxury quarantining at hotels? Disproportionate is an understatement!

Your brandishing bloody headscarves, whilst completely and utterly ignoring our Christian roots, morals and values, is diabolical to me. Your complete disdain for anything Godly should be a shock and horror to your Mormon faith, your previous life. We will NEVER give up our National Anthem of God Defend New Zealand, and we will NEVER stay quiet over your putrid intolerance of us, who have been here since the inception of NZ, not EVER! We will never deny our faith in God, nor sit in silence as you pass laws that legitimize the abortion of our babies up to and post birth. We will not stay silent on your desire to Euthanize our people and get rid of those you deem ‘unworthy’.

No, we will be here, a continued thorn in your side, until well after your reign of tyranny is over. And when you lay your head on your pillow Ms Ardern, know that there are thousands of us praying for your mortal soul to repent. In the meantime, we mourn what once was, and pray for strength and courage to bolster us as we walk into this New World you have administered.

Sandi Wilson.

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Until next time…..

Be Blessed 🙂

Three Minutes Fifty One.

My first visit with Dad in ten weeks.

One week before we as New Zealanders went into total Lockdown, the Rest Homes and Aged Care facilities made the decision to go into full Lockdown for the sake of their ailing Residents.  At the time, we were lead to believe that the Coronavirus, Covid-19 or Sars-Covid-2, was most lethal towards the elderly and infirmed.  Unfortunately for our country, this proved to be true.  Most of our small cases of deaths, were indeed in the Rest Homes.

Dealing with not seeing Dad was something that I was consciously aware of when our Prime Minister started to make daily addresses to the public regarding Lockdown.  Then the day hit when I realised there would be no visiting him at all, and I didn’t get the chance to warn him!  However, all was not lost, as I was able to speak to him on the phone, and the home was able to arrange a couple of Skype calls.

Dad was actually quite funny on those Skype calls – he recognised us, but couldn’t understand why our faces were appearing on a computer!  The whole conversation lasted three minutes and fifty one seconds. 

Yes folks, that enabled me to stop worrying indeed.

When I was able to visit Dad eventually after ten weeks, I had to go through a whole routine of sanitisation, form filling and mask wearing.  Dad didn’t even realise it was me until I quickly lifted the mask up so he could see my entire face!

He understood that I wasn’t able to take him out, he actually was more concerned that there were other patients coming up and staring at me, and he was trying to shoo them away J

I have to say, in this instance there was so much unprecedented things happening in our world, but I learnt not to worry about Dad.  The staff again, were utterly brilliant and would keep us informed with emails, texts and the occasional photographs of Dad.  He was being entertained and kept busy, so that relieved a whole lot of pressure off of me.  Phew!

Till next time, be blessed…..Sandi 🙂

My Dearest Friend….

With every message that goes unanswered, every email that no one seems to respond to, excuses made and heartache booming in my soul – there you are. For the longest of times, you have stood by me, loved me, helped me, cherished me, made me laugh until I cried and been with me. You believed in me when everyone gave up, you cheered me on when I made the smallest of steps, and now here we are. I cannot remove the pain of the past or the wounds of such terror, but I can be a safe place as you are to me. I can love you, as you have loved me. In the darkest of souls and the deepest of nightmares, I will stand with you as you have stood with me. I adore you. I love you. My sister and trusted confidante. And so I dedicate this poem to you, My Dearest Friend.

Ancient Ruins, 2002

I walked through the ancient ruins today

And saw some ghosts of yesteryear

I looked through the brokenness and found

You were still sitting amongst the mess

Won’t you come my way sweet child?

And walk into the fresh air,

Breathe and let the sun’s rays warm your body

Let the light fill your cold soul.

I wandered around and saw many things

Images I recognised from years gone by

I felt the pain, but it was no longer mine

I let it go, many moons ago

I saw things that could have haunted me

And walked all through the mess

But nothing can touch a heart that is now

Wrapped with grace and armed with forgiveness.

I left the Ancient Ruins today

My heart completely in one piece

I took back my inner child and now – she’s safe again in me.

A Sword in the hands of a Mighty Warrior Princess.

50 and The Mask

a filigree mask

I wrote a blog once about de-masking and becoming real. Foolishly, I deleted it. I then went on and deleted all of my blogs. I did print out some of them, but The Mask was not among them! There had been much ado about something or rather, and I felt unsafe blogging. Oh the foolish actions of someone who was too scared to stand and face the very truth that she longed to convey. However, after letting go of some people and opinions, I realised it was time to reflect back and write from the heart, once again.

You know, it’s never too late to take a stand and show the world the true you, the one that has all the sags, bags and wrinkles but knows enough to be sure, and enough to remain humble.

I got confused by someone who used to tell me, that to the public, they would wear a mask.  It just didn’t sit right with me. There was always conflict with them, it was never plain sailing. Speaking one thing to one person, yet saying something entirely different to someone else. Keeping their cards very close to their chest, and yet demanding an audience and trying to have a perception of authority and wisdom. It never worked for me.

I learnt through some very troubling times, that if you indeed are going to wear a mask, then you had better be prepared for the eventuality that it will be ripped off someday. And you had better pray that the Lord does it gently and privately, so as not to seem like a public spectacle or debarcle.

You see, if one is truly authentic and living in the light of God’s love, there is absolutely no reason at all to wear a mask anymore. Who are you trying to hide from and who are you trying to fool? Those with a sense of discernment and any sense of true perception, are going to see right through it, and if they have enough mettle, they will call you on it too.

There’s something about turning fifty, or even just a few weeks beforehand, that made me question alot about my life and come out from behind my self-imposed mask.

I decided to stop dying my hair. I realised there are just some foods I can no longer eat, even though I like them. I have come to love my stretchmarks, they are my badges of pregnancy and carrying such great blessings. After years of of trying to gain my pre-Sammy body, I’ve come to realise that rounded and larger is good too. I love my wrinkles, they show I have lived. I really adore my laughter lines, because my goodness there is still so much joy to share in! I have come to appreciate my boobs are saggy, but they have fed and nurtured my kiddos. I’ve also come to appreciate that I am going through major hormonal changes (menopause) and the greatest gift I can give (apart from nutrition) is love and kindness towards myself. I have found walking my beloved beach to be such a tonic of healing and health, and I have found my love of dancing again!

There are those who want to label me a worshipper, a prophet, an author, a publisher, a this or a that. But what I know for sure is that I am a Watchman and I call out what I see. I am not popular, I never have been and don’t aspire to be. I am not a great Beauty to the world, but I am to my husband and children. I am not a Rockstar, but I love my singing voice – because these days I have come to appreciate I sing for an audience of One. I don’t have anything to prove with my writing or my blogs, I just write what I sense the Lord telling me too. I feel such great sadness and joy within the same moment, and realise that is how the Lord made me, and I know how to manage those emotions now. I see the world and life very differently to a few years ago, and I’m not afraid to live it.

We live in such unprecedented and tumultuous times, we don’t know where or when the next disaster will be. But we know the One who calms the seas, brings Shalom (peace) to the raging heart; gives us joy for sadness; a song instead of a dirge; provision from Heaven; parts the sea of troubles for us to walk right through; hope for the nations and love for all mankind. His name is Yeshua (Jesus) – He alone is our Salvation, our Rock and the strong tower of our Defense, AND the name above ALL names – including Covid-19! We serve a Mighty God who knows the end from the beginning, who writes OUR names upon His hand, who loves us so completely and delights in us abundantly.

I love this time of life, and have continued to embrace all the changes. There is so much to be thankful for, so much to be excited about and so much yet to do.

But the one thing I know for sure, unequivocably and indeliably – you can’t do any of this from living behind a mask!

Badge of Honour

I wrote this back in 2004 after having an emotional breakdown.

Whilst raw and questioning, there was always a shard of light from somewhere.

Sandi 🧡💜💛

Sandi poem