Googles and Fuffoid :)

Fuff and Goog

Oh daughter of my soul

And child of my heart

You’ve come to me by Grace

and Mercy has sheltered you

Your love enfolds my weaknesses

Your laughter erases my pain

Your shining hearts melt

even the hardest of cynics.

Oh daughter of my soul

And child of my heart

Be true to the one who gave you life

Don’t depart from the music of your hearts

Don’t allow the darkness in

Shield Grace for she will always keep you

Allow wisdom to be your adornment

Be at peace with all you encounter

And trust in God alone.

Oh daughter of my soul

And child of my heart

God has given you to me

I give you back into His care

And trust in all you are to be.

I love you….

Daughter of my soul

And child of my heart……

Julianna and Stephanie!

 

 

Stephanui

steph face
Steph in fresh snow, London. Photo by Stephanie Hornell

And so here we are celebrating you, the wonderful glorious young woman Stephanie Dannella Alexandra Hornell!

What a privilege and honour to be your Mumma, to be your friend and rival Unicorn admirer in this life!

I’ve wanted to write about you for the longest time. but I couldn’t find the words.

Today the words found me….

I can’t remember life too much before you, it simply doesn’t seem worthwhile to do so.  You were the prayer most deepest in my heart, the cry of my soul, the longing for the greatest and hardest job ever – Motherhood.  I didn’t want a great career, loads of money or even a husband actually.  All I every truly desired deep in my truest soul, was you.  When I discovered on my 22nd birthday that you were there inside of me, well I think you know I felt, and still feel to this day.  As a person who cherishes words and likes to express them, Steph you left me speechless.

I think most people know you took a VERY long time to arrive (52 hrs peoples!) but when you got here, the rejoicing was endless.  Uncle Tony doing his version of an Indian Rain Dance; Aunty Caroline holding you and smiling deep into your eyes; Nana just dying to get hold of you; Poppa holding you and singing; your Dad just overwhelmed and me……..looking into your dreamy eyes and feeling whole for the first time in my life.  Knowing that I did something right, and you were IT.

I remember that evening, being surrounded by eleven people around my cubicle in the hospital, just mesmerized at this wee baby, and my how you slept.  Six hours straight, and I just didn’t want to sleep because I was so afraid that you were a dream.  That if I woke up, you wouldn’t be there.  And there you were, and here you are now.

I’ve watched you grow up and marvelled at different aspects of your personality as you grew.  Your only dolly that you really loved, you renamed Ashley after your baby cousin, and that dolly is still in this house.  You were more of a matchbox car girl, playing out in the mud and being a racecar driver!  You were certainly far more interested in burning ants outside with a magnifying glass, than being inside and raiding my make up cupboard – that delight went to your sister 😉

I would scratch my head and throw my hands up in the air when you had dismantled something YET AGAIN to see how it worked, and then struggled to put it back together!  That’s been the mainstay in your life – your mind and your inner workings are still such a mystery to me, but I behold that gift with great majesty and wonder.

Then when things like puberty hit and your body started changing, that was such a hard time for you.  Horrible comments from family members about weight etc, they were arrows in your gentle sensitive soul.  The nastiness of some around you have weighed heavily on you, but somehow you manage to rise above it and still remain so beautiful, whilst I’m wanting to lop off their heads and tell them to sod off!  You have known great rejection and abandonment in your life, yet I’ve never seen you reject a single soul.

Loyalty and faithfulness are big for you, and I so deeply apologise that others have not honoured that within you.  I again, have stood by and marvelled at how others could treat you so badly and then smile at your face 🙁  I only know that in time, they will reap what they have sown, and that their own pain has clouded their own beautiful souls.

I have witnessed your unconditional love towards your siblings – all of them – and your love runs so deep, you had their initials tattooed on your wrist.  I didn’t understand at the time, but I do now, and that you did that to physically show your love towards them blesses me immensely.  Your Mumma is so proud darling <3

Your head wobble thing you do, your sass, your individuality and knowing who you are deep inside – these are things that I couldn’t teach you, they are what life has taught you.  Your humour and quick wit are still a wonder to behold – who knew I would birth a frecken comedian?!

You bring so much love, so  much goodness to our world, and I’m so blessed to have been the one to raise you.  I don’t take my job as your Mother lightly, I never will.  You were the greatest gift I had ever received and every day I am so grateful you are here.  Your being, your soul, your heart, your talents, your goodness, your grace – they bless this world and we are surely all much better individuals for knowing and loving you.

My girl – my first True Love, I honour you today with all that I have, and thank God for the woman you are:  Stephanie Hornell.

xxx

Dance of Dawn

 

 

 

A flock of birds fly by at break neck speed as the sound of a car alarm disperse the early morning calm.

Engines humming as boats leave the shore to head out to fish the waters of the Hauraki Gulf.

Large grey cottony clouds hover over the island of Kawau, the whistle and songs of the native birds rousing the melody of the morn.

The occasional seagull dives and squawks as he nears his prey, whilst ducks quack their loud honking call to all who dwell in this fair Bay.

Faint whisps of colour brush the sky with the promise of another glorious sunrise, as shards of firey pink gold peak through on the horizon.

It’s the Dance of Dawn, a scene she has watched hundreds of times from this very spot, a time when majesty and wonder collide to bring forth such promise and mystery to any given day.

Not a chance of accident or evolution;  the morning glory tells the ages past of the ages present and the ages to come.

More shards of firey glory are breaking through as she looks straight ahead and watches in great anticipation.

This dance of hope and wonder, never gets old.

She sits watching as a lone bird flies past the firey scene on it’s way to join it’s friends.  She feels the warmth invade her soul as the peak of the burning sphere rises above the Island.  She covets the residents on that island, watching the sunrise without interruption….

God’s glory rises in her heart….

The wonder of a new day….

A mystery to unfold….

Not rules and principles to govern this soul, but movement – grace and hope wrapped in this ball of light.

The silence of this moment is interrupted by the sounds of vehicles revving;  the golden glow spreads like magic thoughout the sky.

She glimpses it’s reflection in her own golden hair.  Grace upon grace enfolds her heart as love awakens the Dawn.

Clouds part as shards of light disperse and the morning song becomes a crescendo of melodies calling from Heaven.

Relections of gold shimmer and dance on the water as this autumn day beckons her to the fro.

A row of trees on the island look like they’re dancing in front of a seductive camp fire…

The sun peaks out and bounces off her page as she writes.  Ahhh, the warmth of the sun, the golden glimpses that enrapture her imagination.

A snapshot forms in her mind, to go with all the other hundreds of snapshots she has taken of this wonderous moment.

For a brief time other island in the Gulf come into view, bathed in this glorious light.  Ah such awe inspiring visions of love, sent from the Father of lights, to garner our day and show His great pleasure in us.  We, He, I.

The Great  Unfolding timeless mystery of Sunrise.

 

Photos and writing copyrighted by Sandi Wilson 2019.